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Post by patrickd on Nov 4, 2014 20:38:19 GMT
Patrick's thoughts -
What struck me this month was that nobody seems to have struggled with the 'challenge' of just five instruments, on the contrary it seemed to bring out the best in the composition and performances.
1 We used to be punks - Colin Parish,
Nice clear sound, enables the witty vocals to be heard well. The chorus arpeggio bass provides a nice counterpoint to the verse, in fact I really like the bass programming throughout. I like the peculiar sitar/guitar sound for the solo, which popped in and out like a sighting of a rare beast, a little unsure of itself. The playing/programming is tight throughout, I like the cello too. Reminds me of something off 69 love songs by Magnetic Fields. Not sure if there's only five musicians but I like it.
2 Deep Down - Stephen Clarke
Reassuring field recording sound again from Stephen, the chorus is immediately catchy, you're looking forward to it coming back. Unsettling lyrics but lovely groove. Dr John would love to get his hands on this one, relocating it to Louisiana. The song stands up well on this primitive recording, which is something always to be admired. Uncluttered.
3 Where is Mr Barker - Eddie Custard
Much improved drumming, and florid fills from Mr Custard. Could he have got a ringer in… ?
Strong chorus and harmonies as we've come to expect. All the sounds gel well together, cutting guitars and cocksure bass. I was humming it immediately. Echoes of XTC and early Jam on this one. Jam and Custard…mmmm.
4 Rat Park - Tim and Julie Warner
Impressive beginning, I love the unsettling meter, goes well with the subject matter, the keyboard line keeps everything in check in a nice groove whilst everything else is in delicate balance around it. Mysterious and Gary Numan esque. Good to hear the voice standing pround centre stage with nothing to battle with. I don't think it needed the guitar. Best yet I feel.
6 Silence is the Residue of Fear - Phil Sanderson
Reminds me of something from a sixties San Francisco happening. I like the Jazz fusion groove when it starts up, unusual combination with the 12 string, had me reaching for the hash pipe. It's a scary, psychedelic modal voyage. The drums and guitar spar well like it's two musicians together in a room. Phil has reached for something here and that impresses me.
7 I broke a promise - but I kept a vow - Mike Gosling
Another classy delivery from Mike, lovely, tender, supportive guitar playing, with the rich and deep vocal centre stage. Heartfelt, soulful, and moving with the strings. Its between Somewhere over yonder off Tapestry and something from King of America by Costello. It's got all the ingredients of a classic.
8 Watch the colours fade - Tim and Glynn
I like the bluesy, swing feel. It's a bit Fairport convention, but also like something from a David Lynch dream sequence, with something horribly violent about to happen. I like the guitar sounds as usual from Tim, classy solo and straight back into the chorus no messing about. Strong soulful vocal throughout, with effective, subtle phrasing.
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Post by eddiecustard on Nov 5, 2014 1:03:11 GMT
Deep Down - Stephen Clarke
A superb lyric and a superb song. I like the way you convey your ten year-old self’s fears and anxieties in dealing with the sudden trauma of parents splitting up, but also the shock of moving house to a distant land. There’s the spectre of loneliness and isolation, but also neat descriptions of unexpected pleasures: sea and surf, and ‘sunglasses and ice-cream, a ten year-old’s daydream.’ Another good line is the bit about ‘my stuff by the front door, nothing to stay for.’
It has echoes of the old West – through the country/blues feel and the title – with the pioneers in America on the move and searching for a new home. The chorus is really good, and I like the way the ‘deep down’ vocal does actually go down in pitch (or is it register?) after the verse. And yet the chorus takes the song up if that makes sense.
I’ve been humming the song off and on after playing it a few times. You’ve moved to the Premier League with this one, and perhaps AFC Bournemouth will follow next season.
We Used to Be Punks – Colin Parish
A confident song which kicks off with some nice double bass sounds. There are likeable lines about moving into middle age and embracing Radio Four via the Shipping Forecast and The Archers. The bit where the ukulele(?) comes in for the second verse sounds very effective. I like the unusual mix of instruments and the ukulele sound. There’s a good use of Garage Band well with its multiple possibilities. Sounds like a sitar somewhere there in the middle.
Mine:
Oh dear – it looks like I may have to follow Colin Parish into the sin bin for losing count. My song works for a four-piece band but only if two are singing. I could remix it and get rid of the second guitar but it’s probably too late. Next month: an Easter song.
Rat Park - Tim and Julie Warner
Short, sheared of baggage, and yet still experimental and ambitious. That’s a winning combination. I like the theatrical nature of your lyrics, in the sense that you adopt multiple personas, usually those of animals. This month it’s a singing lab rat, following a cat and pig in previous months. What are you up to? Are you concocting the sequel to Saint Saens’ Carnival of the Animals? As you’ve gathered, I always enjoy trying to figure out what you’re writing about. I like the bit where the rats are moved to the different experimental setting of Rat Park and become nonplussed about the drugs on offer, with the line ‘there’s drugs on tap but no-one cares’. The bit about the rats being fearful of ending up back on the hard stuff once they leave Rat Park is a good section.
I like the drumming, the intro, the organ, the atmosphere, and the guitar fills, all of which evoke a kind of drug haze. It’s just the right balance to create a smooth ride. You’ve conjured an eventful two minutes and I agree with Patrick – it’s your best yet. What about sending it to Alexander, Coambes and Hadaway?
Night Train – Patrick Duffin
Some lovely singing and other anatomical sound effects. Great that you’re doing something completely different. I like the way the ‘ch, ch, ch’ noises kick in after the devil arrives, sounding like the chugging of a train, while the ‘ooohs’ sound like they could represent ghoulish figures in his entourage or steam train whistles. Nice work.
Good that you’ve trusted your own troupe of stompers, clappers and singers on this one rather than calling in David Hasselhoff. He knows the Knight Rider but he’d be hopeless aboard the Night Train. The lyrics are good, especially in the bit near the end: ‘Now I’m standing at the station/Cos I gave him all my change/There are things I’ll never mention/There are things I can’t explain..night train..…
It’s an inspiring gospel/blues song, which should be adopted by a chain gang deep down in the south (USA, not Bournemouth). Very atmospheric.
Silence is the Residue of Fear – Phil Sanderson
It’s always good when someone breaks the mould on the website, and you’ve done it here by creating a song with an overtly political edge. We’re not used to this. Your views on the importance of speaking out and acting against injustice come across forcefully.
The 12-string acoustic sounds good, as it always does, and you’ve experimented with a wash of sounds that recalls the Jesus and Mary Chain. There isn’t much melody to hang onto, but the soundscape of cymbals and other bits and pieces keep it humming along.
You seem to have a guitar technique that is some distance from mainstream playing – I’m not quite sure how you’ve created some of it. It’s all your own, and that’s a good thing. Constructive criticism corner: you’ve developed a niche for writing unnerving, mournful tunes, and this is another. There’s nothing wrong with that – or the sentiments in this particular song – but it’d be really interesting to see you spread your wings and create something with an optimistic or upbeat feel.
Well done for not being afraid to write a longish song.
I Broke a Promise - Mike Gosling
Another impressive tune driven by really good singing. A great strength is that both the melody and rhythm are so clear. It’s a ballad with a dreamy melancholia which is uplifting at the same time. The restrained and controlled guitar playing near the very beginning works very well and fills in the spaces left by the voice. It’s brave not to play much in this section and it pays off. The organ is used to really good effect. The words are dripping with regret and I like the bit about the ‘I dwell on the mornings that can’t be rewound.’ I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the pacing. I think if you can cut it at a slow pace it shows you’ve got style. So did your co-habitants stir during the recording? Maybe we could use your experience as inspiration for a future challenge: ‘write a song that won’t wake up a person sleeping in the same room.’
Watch the Colours Fade –Tim and Glynn
I really like the opening. There’s a confidence and self-belief coursing through your veins on this one. Glynn’s singing is superb throughout – and placed nice and high in the mix. The words are crystal clear and I like that line about ‘I know you want to cause me trouble.’
The organ hovers beautifully, especially in the chorus. Overall I think you’ve really hit your stride lately and this continues the winning streak. Impressive. Tough to know how to vote this time.
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Post by colinallcars on Nov 5, 2014 6:42:42 GMT
Wow! It's like I just had a new album drop into my inbox!
The standard is incredibly high... and it's amazing how varied the songs are.
Deep Down - Stephen Clarke
Great guitar and a really heartfelt rendition. You should definitely work on that concept album.... I love the kid's easy acceptance of the move away from home because 'dad's gone bad'. That and the ice cream! Nice rich tone to your voice, especially in the lower register. Found myself humming the chorus....
Where is Mr Barker? - Eddie Custard
Fantastic chorus - super combination of a catchy tune and ironic lyrics: 'His Facebook page says he's not dead....'
Sounds a bit like ELO but they would have made it schmaltzy and overblown. Nice guitar playing and harmonies.
Rat Park - Tim and Julie
Great vocal - lovely rich tones. Time signature kept me on my toes. Bass and guitar go really well together - lots of space in between. Electric piano at the end reminded me of The Sensational Alex Harvey Band...
Night Train - Patrick Duffin
Haunting song about a haunting... works for me. So sparse you can almost sense him creeping up on you...... Nice harmonies - Oooo-oooh!
Silence is the residue of fear - Phil Sanderson
I didn't really get the first minute and a half - too discordant for my unsophisticated ear and uncomfortable to listen too. But when it kicks in to the main theme - crikey! I found it incredibly gripping - cataclysmic. One of the few songs I've heard that made me see pictures in my mind - like a fast-forward newsreel from the 60s. Reminded me of the music to the film Rumblefish by Stewart Copeland. I love the way the 'found lyric' is made monumental by the music. On its own it could have sounded trite but with the music it's incredibly powerful. Brilliant! Makes me want to break out of my 4/4 verse verse chorus verse routine.
I broke a promise - Mike Gosling
Loved this. Reminded me of the feel of Springsteen's Wreck on the Highway, with a hint of Jackson Brown. So simple but powerful, lovely arrangement, great vocal. A country classic. Less is definitely more. Been singing the I broke a promise refrain in the car....
Watch the colours fade - Tim and Glynn
Nice lazy bluesy feel and great warm vocal tone. It didn't get me at first but after a couple of listens I got it. Nice solo and I love how the chorus didn't go where I expected it to. Sounds like it could have been recorded live, late at night in a bar.
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Post by Rob W on Nov 5, 2014 8:57:22 GMT
I've been VERY lax in getting this working properly and I see we already have comments so I've transferred these to this thread so that we get the Poll too.
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Post by stephen on Nov 5, 2014 9:59:26 GMT
Dilemma! Sorry but having obeyed the rules myself I've decided to get all self-righteous and vote for people who did likewise. Even though I enjoyed the rule-breakers (we all love a bad boy).
Colin Parish We Used to be Punks
If this hadn't broken the rules I'd vote for it. The music has a nicely underplayed, Blur-like, Englishness that matches the lyrics perfectly. Some weirdly interesting orchestration in the break and the outro, combining with the simple, catchy hook. But rules are rules and resistance is useless.
Eddie Custard Where's Mr Barker?
I've been wondering the same thing about Mr Corbett. Great use of the limited instrumentation – the distorted guitar weaving its way behind some excellently chunky bass, and some really well-mixed drums. Very catchy singalong hook, too, with a beautiful transition into the chorus. I thought you would be on your way to three number ones in a row here, but now you say you cheated and added an extra vocal? It's like when Cher admitted she'd had a facelift.
Tim & Julie Parker Rat Park
This is another one with a Blur feel, the dark side of Park Life. It doesn't sound like noodling to me – nicely organized playing, short and sweet. I like the way the guitar underlines the "rat park" hook. A pleasingly fluid chord sequence, cleverly simple tune, very listenable. Good one.
Patrick Duffin Night Train
Spooky indeed. Really well sung, especially by the lead vocalist, but also by the backing ghosts. You've got the perfect melody for this kind of backing, too – instruments would have smothered it. I like the blues shouting bit in the outro — gives the whole thing a sort of old-time Mississippi edge despite its Fenland setting, Robert Johnson waiting for the Norwich express. And I don't mean that in a condescending way at all – there's no reason why we Brits can't sing the blues.
Phil Sanderson – Silence is the Residue of Fear
Another scary one, kind of Halloween folk music. I wouldn't have thought that a 12-string could sound so spooky. Very clever idea to split the signal of the guitar, it works really well, and sends the song off into something that reminds me of the Cocteau Twins. Some nice playing in the double-guitar break and the last section with the sampled voice, so that it gets really intense, matching the subject matter perfectly.
Mike Gosling I Broke a Promise
That's a great opening (and closing) line for a country song, and personally I'm glad you gave it this guitar-based backing rather than a string quartet. There is some very nice picking going on there. I'd even have liked to hear more of the song with just that acoustic guitar and the voice – it would have added even more to the night-time solitary feel. Lots of atmosphere.
Tim & Glynn Watch the Colours Fade
The song feels as though you've embraced the five-instrument rule and made a positive thing out of it – like in that section before the verse with just bass and drums. I love the way we hear the lead guitarist walk into the room and plug in (almost), so you get a real band feel. Nice solo, rocky but not too flashy. Great vocal, bluesy and intimate, but strong enough to fill the space in front of the sparse instrumentation. Hummable hook, too, memorable.
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Post by mikegosling on Nov 6, 2014 13:03:24 GMT
A good selection of songs this month and reiterating Patrick's thoughts
that the 5 instrument restriction wasn't to the detriment of the song quality.
Colin Parish - We Used To Be Punks
The lyrical theme of growing up / getting old listening to Radio Four is a good one.
A nice change of chords for the chorus. I like the English delivery of the vocals.
The instrumental passage had an unusual break in the solo - as if gathering inspiration
- not sure that quite worked for me. The instrument selection worked fine.
Well done and welcome to the "collective".
Stephen Clarke - Deep Down
It's a hit single (if such things still exist!). A lovely easy sounding vocal and a very
good verse tune. The Deep Down chorus is very catchy and the sound of the vocal
a good contrast to the end of the verses. The bass part also works well in the chorus to
move it along. The lyrics are very good and the references to seaside / beside leave us
in no doubt that despite the music we are on the English south coast and not the gulf coast.
I can hear how the chorus could have been supported by backing vocals but it doesn't
really need it. Enjoyed this very much and passes the Old Grey Whistle Test.
Eddie Custard - Where Is Mr Barker?
A good intro guitar riff to get us started. This has a distinctly English feel again - this time
we are definitely in The Jam / Kinks territory. A good bass part propels this along (have
a picture of Bruce Foxton in my head here). It would have benefitted from a real drum kit
to make the song really lift off. Lyrically, this song again nods towards The Jam and The Kinks
with its celebration of the underdog. Reminded me a bit of "David Watts". And, of course, Brighton
seems the obvious place to go for an ice cream and paddle if we have a bit of a Mod thing going on.
Strange that ice cream on the beach should make another appearance (see Stephen's song) - but
then we are English / British.
Tim and Julie - Rat Park
The 7/4 time signature gives this an unsettling feel - and this is a great match for the
lyrical theme. The double bass sounds very classy. I am strongly reminded of Steely Dan
in a number of ways - the slightly jazzy feel, the guitar. I think the guitar lines could have
been more jazzy and less rocky in places. The vocal is excellent and suits the mood and
sound of the song well. A very confident and interesting song - well done.
Patrick Duffin - Night Train
A very well executed gospel blues song. The stamping / clapping reminded me of the Coen Brothers'
film "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" and should the Coens decide to film a Hallowe'en film in Norfolk then
I hope Patrick will get a call to do the soundtrack. Very good lead vocals and some stunning backing
vocals (a Patrick trademark that never seems to fail). The introduction of the vocal ba-bas is a good
rhythmic counterpoint to the steady pulse of the feet/hands. And I like the visceral effort on display trying
to hit those top notes in the end section. Patrick displays a little more soul and grit with each outing.
Very much enjoyed this.
Phil Sanderson - Silence is the Residue of Fear
By far the most demanding song on offer here. I must admit I found this a very hard listen.
The teacher's sample is fantastic (but sounds like Morgan Freeman or Barack Obama) and is
used to great effect throughout. I think for me the more challenging aspect was that dense King
Crimson-like backing. In the seventies and early eighties I tried to get into King Crimson and their
ilk, but it never really clicked with me. Some of the lines / lyrics are particularly chilling e.g., "When
there aren't enough body bags". The end is spot-on. Not a comfortable listen for me but I applaud
your invention.
Tim and Glyn(n) - Watch the Colours Fade
Although a strong bluesy song with some strong lyrics, this felt like light relief after Phil's song!
A very good bluesy vocal throughout - Glyn's voice has a gently soulful feel and the music was a good
fit. I particularly liked the hammond organ in the guitar solo section. Very good lyrics - I liked "transparent to the end". The whole song has a lovely brooding quality and concluded another fine set of songs from the collective.
I look forward to some Christmas cheer next time!
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Post by Rob W on Nov 6, 2014 20:22:25 GMT
This is a really, really great selection of songs this month.
Colin Parish - We Used to be Punks
Speaking as the Administrator, I’m sure your honesty will be taken into account (re too many instruments) and I would certainly give my blessing to allow you to receive votes! (However, don’t be too disappointed if you don’t get any votes because there are some really ‘big-hitters’ this month and having read some of the other reviews, some ‘sticklers’ for the rules!)
I love Colin’s approach to the lyric. I really struggle with lyrics but when I hear this I think to myself ‘it’s so simple’! (that’s a compliment by the way!) I really like the melody and the fairly basic, regimented backing (though I thought the sequenced synth throughout was a little overpowering, though it did remind me of OMD as did the vocal.)
A great first effort (much better than my first go.) Colin’s already told me that he’s finished his Christmas composition! Maybe as a Christmas gift, we should allow everyone to contribute two Christmas songs each and give everyone four votes instead of two. It might make for an interesting result.) Maybe I’ll add that as an idea to the ‘discussions’ forum.
Anyway, thanks for joining our small but perfectly formed merry band of Songwriters. 2015 will be exciting.
Stephen Clarke - Deep Down
Great guitar sound. Really great. And his voice just gets better and better (have you got yourself a new mic?) The bass just slides in without effort. This is the best-sounding SC recording so far (sonically-speaking.) The chorus is instantly ‘sing-along-able’ and the whole thing just all gels nicely together.
I listened to it initially without first reading your cover notes. Unsurprisingly, having read them, it gives the whole song a new meaning (especially to me, who is not someone who feels the need to analyse lyrics but usually just treats them as another sound rather than…erm..lyrics!) I felt quite choked for countless reasons but the thought of a ten year old (a year younger than my son) being in that situation really got to me.
I listened back to all the songs in Stephen’s back-catalogue and if I had to choose one artist from this forum whose songs I had to take to a desert island, it would be his collection as it is consistently good/brilliant.
Eddie Custard - Where is Mr Barker?
But if I did have to choose a collection of songs from one artist, Eddie would be in the top three! These first three songs are all quite similar in that the lyrics tell a very specific type of story. But the king of this type of ‘Squeeze’ homage is Eddie Custard. Just the title made me smile and when I read the sleeve notes my smile broadened further. I love the idea of the teachers running around the staff room saying ‘he normally let’s us know if he’s not going to be in’. It’s so ridiculous but I love it. I also loved the fade in this song as it completed the feel that this really was a throw-back to certain songs in the eighties that told us of the smaller things in life but with a catchy tune attached (as opposed to Simple Minds and U2 and their anthems during that era.)
I thought Eddie may struggle this month because his close harmonies have been so good for the past two or three months but this song didn’t suffer at all. My only complaint was that I really struggled to hear the lyrics in the first verse and I wonder if, with his growing confidence and effortless delivery, it’s time he either bought himself a new condenser mic or perhaps added it to his Christmas list!
UPDATE: Eddie’s over-cooked it with the tracks! Will the others forgive this transgression? Probably not. They smell blood!
Tim & Julie - Rat Park
Oooh ⅞ time to start! I love the whole feel of this. Double Bass, electric piano and great drums and a sparse sprinkling of guitar. This is quite ‘early-Bowie’ in places. Tim’s voice is good on this (I know he recorded it the morning after a gig for extra effect) and the lyrics really stand up. This is definitely his best work but to be honest, his star has been climbing steadily since his first entry. I was writing this review while I was listening and was disappointed when it was over and could have done with more. I re-listened and the message comes through loud and clear - make everyone rich and put them in nice houses and there’d be no drugs’ problem. It was an interesting study and this song summed up the findings (and lack of action) with great clarity. These are all great songs so far.
UPDATE: Tim has some exciting news about this song but I’ll leave him to tell you what it is when/if he posts a review.
Patrick Duffin - Night Train
I did contemplate doing a ‘five voice’ song (before I ended up not doing anything!) but having heard Patrick’s effort, I’m glad I didn’t as I know mine would have been sh*te in comparison.
This has a bizarrely ‘U2’ feel probably due to Patrick’s vocal which can at times sound like Bono. The backing vocals are absolutely first rate in their delivery and invention. The lyrics are, as ever, believable and lead us on a journey through the spooky environment that he creates with the drums and backing vocals.
I think I said it last month, but he has become his own worst enemy in terms of getting votes. He hit the highs in terms of melody creation, musicianship and production and now I for one expect every composition to be an absolute number one belter. He is ‘The Beatles’ to everyone else’s ‘Hermin’s Hermits’ (‘who?’ you ask? Exactly!) So though this is quite brilliant in so many ways (and would be a crowd-pleaser live) I’m not sure he’ll get my vote this month but not through a lack of quality or execution. Patrick for PM!!
Phil Sanderson - Silence is the residue of Fear
Ooh. Spooky and discordant to start. It’s a bit like some of the stuff that Alice Cooper did on ‘Welcome to my Nightmare’. When the drums kick in, my mind is thrumming with the intensity of it all and I would love to have watched him recording the 12 string part!! I have spoken to Phil about his recordings before in terms of the sonic performance of his equipment (oo-er) but this is the best-sounding recording he’s done. He’s also mentioned John McLaughlin’s Mahavishnu Orchestra before as an inspiration and there are moments here where he gets close to creating a decent homage to the great man. I loved the American voice punctuating the music and I also liked the fact that he appears to have just let the music run away rather than rigidly sticking to a comprehendible format. Another ‘best work so far’ award for Phil!
Mike Gosling - I Broke a Promise (but I kept a vow)
Lovely, lovely, lovely. I loved this. I would love to put a vocal (and bass-line) to this, though I’m not sure I’d do it any better than Mike. He made the joke a few months back about only using three chords (four at a push) and I’m not sure this has many more than four but it sounds all the better for its simplicity. I half-expected him to climb an octave toward the end but he kept it low and moody and that was probably the right decision.
This month is proving to be the most consistent in terms of the standards set. It’s going to be really hard to make a decision when it comes to voting.
Tim & Glynn - Watch the Colours Fade
Bluesy start. If we’d had more tracks/instruments available we could have a sampled, smokey pub crowd in the background. Someone else said that this could have been recorded live and I agree. Glynn’s voice is always lovely to listen to with its breathy tone. However, sometimes I feel I would really like her to take a more measured approach to the melody and keep it a bit simpler instead meandering around the melody. I also feel that the best part of her range is lower down where the tone and breathiness are there in abundance. Having said that, I really like the moment when she sang ‘They’re not gonna make it easy for you’ (higher up the register!) It sounded improvised and fresh as though she’d really relaxed into the song by then and I liked the hook line. In fact there’s more to this song that I liked than I didn’t like. The guitar break is very accomplished (distorted acoustic?) Overall, very pleasing particularly after a second and third listening.
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Post by timwarner on Nov 6, 2014 23:29:16 GMT
October songs
What a difference a month makes! This is a great collection of songs from the first listening and I've been enjoying them very much. As far as voting goes (which seems more superfluous than normal this month) I'm glad there have been some confessions of 'cheating' which has made choosing who to vote slightly less difficult. Hats off to all those who contributed.
We used to be punks - Colin Parish
Colin is shamelessly appealing to the demographic that encompasses the SWC with this song. It's warm, gentle and as english as Sunday cricket with cucumber sandwiches on the village green. Mentioning 'gardeners question time' or perhaps 'women's hour' may have expanded the potential audience a little. Everything seems to work very well with some clever instrumentation.
Deep Down - Stephen Clark
Technical stuff first. The overall impression from Stephen's songs up to now is I am listening to demos. This seems much more polished and focused. Only having one vocal slightly higher in the mix has worked very well here. The chorus is very catchy and it like that it is sung in a lower register than the chorus.
The lyrical side is fabulous. Looking at such a traumatic event through the eyes of a 10 year old give it an 'Adrian Mowle' quality and works very well.
Mr Barker - Eddie Custard
I started with a similar approach but couldn't get it to work so, hats off for making such a success of the three piece band format. Some great playing and a stonking song. I reminds me of the Tom Robinson Band except with a better bass player. I like the way it goes minor to major for the chorus and the exit back into the verse.
I really like the 'where is Mr Barker' hook, it's really reminiscent of the way rumours were transported around school, and also the mocking of the sweating teacher. A brilliant image.
Night Train - Patrick Duffin
How many months can we go until Patrick stops surprising us? Stripped of everything else we just get to enjoy the vocal performance (and a bit of stamping). With so little reference it really engages the listener to fill in some of the gaps for themselves. On one listening I got distracted, lost the chord that you were singing over for the loud bit and it all seemed a bit shouty and tuneless for a moment until I regained my bearings (Patrick getting it wrong is unthinkable so I thought I'd gone mad). Very spooky in a 'night porter' by Japan kind of way.
Silence is a residue of fear - Phil Sanderson
Wow, that's a dangerous chord to start on! The vocal section can be difficult because the notes used around the chords are so close together. Once it gets loud I am transported to the Mahavishnu orchestra in full flow in 1971, amazing for the limitations of the challenge. The chords, the rhythm and tempo are spot on. The only very minor criticism of the loud section is Billy Cobham never used the stick across the snare click (there must me a technical name for it), just a full on snare. Loved the use of the speech. I was left wanting to hear the guitar and violin duelling over the top of it all. I really, really like it but I can see it would be unlikely to trouble the single-buying public.
I broke a promise - Mike Gosling
I think Mike should rent out his kitchen as a recording venue provided the family are asleep upstairs. The effect is a very intimate, heart-felt performance that works incredibly well. It's as if these are thought I'm having, rather than just listening to something. It really, really gets to you (not just me, people at work liked too). It reminds me of bits of the Robert Plant/Allison Krause album and the close up recordings Johnny Cash did just before he died. You've managed to capture a beautiful performance of a lovely song brilliantly.
Watch the colours fade - Tim and Glyn
It's a nice change to hear Glyn's voice without the harmonies normally used. It sounds great, getting towards Kate Bush in the early part of the song. The bluesy feel is good and the playing is, as ever, spot on. Hats off to Simon for supplying a solo which is perfectly weighted for the song. It's a good song, the trouble is they all seem to be good songs this month.
Rat Park - me and Julie
I particularly enjoyed reading Eddie's comments about my previous contributions and it was these that led me to write the song from perspective of a rat. Reading his comments this time I took his bait and sent the song to Bruce Alexander in Vancouver, who did the original research. I was a bit worried as I was making years of research into a 2 minute pop song which may appear a bit flippant to an eminent psychologist. He replied saying it was exciting that a song had been written about his work and asking for the lyrics written down (he's a bit deaf now). He liked it and is going to put it on his web site but wants me to change one of the lyrics so you know from the start that the rat is unhappy with his life in a cage, he even suggested the lyric for it.
This got me worrying about being ripped off by some unscrupulous record producer but, hey! No one seems to be making anything from selling records anymore (U2 have to force people to take their new record even though it's free). So what the hell?
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Post by eddiecustard on Nov 7, 2014 15:26:21 GMT
That's brilliant, Tim! Let us know when it goes on the website.
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Karl
Junior Member
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Post by Karl on Nov 8, 2014 9:08:53 GMT
I concur with the majority opinion - a very good collection of songs. And with several overlapping themes that's what these songs feel like - a collection.
Something that struck me though is the lack of real drums - probably because I didn't play for Mike and there was no song from Robbie, but also because some of the songs are slightly let down by the sound of the programmed drums.
This is only a minor quibble though as this is possibly the best month so far.
As I'm late to the "Comments" party again, I'll try to refrain from repeating what's already been said and keep my comments brief.
We Used To Be Punks - Colin Parish
Good first entry. I like the unusual instrumentation, and the quirky feel has something of Je Suis un Rock Star by Bill Wyman about it.
Deep Down - Stephen Clark
The best from Stephen so far, in my opinion. I admire the honesty in the lyrics - very moving. I especially like the skimming stones lyric. For once I don't think this Jack Johnson-esque song misses drums at all.
Where Is Mr Barker - Eddie Custard
Another south coast beach, another ice cream - and for Mr Custard another Squeeze inspired hit!
Rat Park - Tim & Julie
Tim's mission to be different is really paying off. Once again, another P.B. I think! Good drums, good switching between 7/8 and 4/4, lovely double bass, singing as good as it's ever been, better production and really understated guitar. I love it Tim, even if it is a bit short. Well done with your Bruce Alexander connection.
Night Train - Patrick Duffin
This is fantastic - the harmonies made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up the first time I played it. And when Patrick strains his voice towards the end it cements an almost perfect composition. I love the attention to tiny details like the hand claps that are very slightly out of synch but help to make the song so convincingly authentic. Simply brilliant!
Silence Is A Residue Of Fear - Phil Sanderson
Very scary - In fact the main body of this song is so scary that I have found it difficult to deal with repeated listenings. I appreciate the technical ability, but it's so dark for so long that I feel quite un-nerved listening to it. Perhaps I am one of Tim's single-buying members of the public!
I Broke A Promise - Mike Gosling
After Phil's SITROF, this is the like having smooth caramel poured in to my ears. I listened to Mike's first draft and have to say the addition of bass and delayed introduction of strings work well for me, giving warmth and a bit more space early on for the vocals and rather lovely guitar to breath.
Watch The Colours Fade - Tim and Glyn
I like it, in particular the keyboard sound and part (once again reminding me of Massive Attack). Glyn's voice sounding great. My only criticism is the drums - they sound too flat to me.
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Post by Colin Steward on Nov 8, 2014 12:06:30 GMT
Well, first I should apologise for the lack of an entry from me for the second month running. I had a moment of no imagination coupled with one of my keyboards developing a problem (now all fixed courtesy of Korg).
Everyone seems to be settling into their styles and techniques so well now and a great collection of songs. Well done to all who managed to submit this time.
We Used To Be Punks - Colin Parish
A newcomer and a good song!. I agree with Rob that there is a kind of OMD about it (albeit OMD unplugged). I really liked that little counter melody running underneath the vocal and the sound used for it gave it a nice, almost eccentric, quality that appealed to me. Nice catchy chorus and good lyric too. Hope we get to hear more from Colin in the future. I wouldn't have known that you broke the rules so kudos for admitting it! I would have seriously considered giving this a vote!
Deep Down - Stephen Clarke
Now, normally I've not been a huge fan of Stephen's vocal tone (just a matter of personal taste) but this one somehow suited the voice much better. I don't know how; was it slightly in a lower register than previous songs? Whatever it was, it was all the better for it. There's a definite style to Stephen's songs, it's almost as if he is gradually, month by month, giving us an album (sort of U2 but not all in one go!). I always like Stephen's guitar work and this is a good strong song. Already worried about who to give votes to!
Where is Mr Barker - Eddie Custard
Eddie's songs conjure up everything that was good and underestimated during the late 70s and early 80s, namely Squeeze and XTC. Enjoyed this much more than Eddie's previous month's song thanks to the improved drums. As usual Eddie's melodies and lyrics just flow with ease without being predictable. I feel comfortable listening to this and feel I'm in good hands. Nice bit of story telling that it's easy to relate to. I think we've all felt like Mr Barker at some point.
Rat Park - Time & Julie
What a cracker! I love this. Yes it's short but I'm sure it would be easy to tag on another verse or chorus if necessary. I felt there was a bit of Robert Wyatt and Tom Waites - the latter would, I'm sure, delight Tim! Understated lead guitar (rare for a guitarist!) with perfect choice of double bass and electric piano for this song. Tim told me the full story behind the Rat Park experiment but if he hadn't I would have been compelled to find out about it on the merits of the song alone. Well done indeed, one of my favourites.
Night Train - Patrick Duffin
Again, Patrick throws a curved ball and surprises us with his inventiveness. Now this one I found myself singing the 'Night Train' refrain and the ooh oohs on my way to work one morning (luckily for the general public I was in the car with the windows up!). This was the morning after I listened to it the previous evening - I think this is probably the best praise you can get. It's memorable even without instrumentation. Foot stamps and hand claps give the feel of a relentless, unsettling journey. Change the lyric and you have a song for a chain gang!
Silence is the Residue of Fear - Phil Sanderson
Crikey, this is dramatic stuff! I absolutely loved that opening chord over the speech. I loved it even more when you repeated it. I got the feeling of "Wow, what a chord to start with", and I have no idea why but the repetition of that chord was a great choice. I think I would have preferred a little more musical intro before the singing vocal, but that's partly because I really like the sound you get on the guitar. I didn't think I'd enjoy this as much as I did. The speech and repetition of elements of it were very effective and I would have been happy enough to lose the singing vocal and just leave it as an accompaniment to the speech. This is not a song but a work of performance art to me (this is a compliment!). I can imagine this under some striking visuals late night on BBC 4.
I Broke a Promise (But i Kept a Vow) - Mike Gosling
So intimate and measured - scares me because when you get so intimate sounding there's nowhere to hide, you just have to be as good as this to carry it off and Mike does just that. Nice strings sound that didn't wash anything away and some really nice guitar work too. I'm glad you didn't just go with the string quartet because the guitar really adds something and grounds it.
Watch the Colours Fade - Tim & Glynn
Gylnn's voice seems much more assured on this one and I really like it a lot. Very bluesy and moody. The keyboard is very effective and has an unsettling quality about it. Oh, that guitar solo - fantastic! I loved the sound of it and how the organ came up to accompany it. But what really impressed me is how the solo was not rushed and it had space in it rather than fill it up with fast runs, it fitted perfectly. A very impressive song.
General comment: Voting is a tough one this time because each song has it's own merits so it can only be down to personal taste in the end. I don't tend to say much about lyrics because I rarely listen to them! I usually like the effect of words rather than their meaning unless there's a story being told as with Tim W's, or Eddie's songs.
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Post by philsanderson on Nov 9, 2014 10:32:58 GMT
We Used To Be Punks - Colin Parish
A fantastic opening to your contributions to the SWC. The individual instruments all have their own space and fit together so well. The lyrics are accomplished and deserve repeated listening. There is a lovely flow about the whole song.
Deep Down - Stephen Clarke
Love the chorus of this song - I find myself singing it as I move around the house and even on daily dog walk. I love the idea of the south being Bournemouth, a town which also holds ‘interesting’ memories for me. I think this is your best song yet. You really don’t need backing vocals on this or drum part. It sounds perfectly complete.
Where is Mr. Barker? - Eddie Custard
Another fantastic song. The lyrics and vocal delivery seem so natural throughout. After a particularly s*** week at school I almost had a Mr Barker moment myself on Friday! There are definite elements of both XTC and Squeeze in here – this is written as a compliment!!
Rat Park - Tim & Julie Warner
Hugely impressive from first note to last, Tim. I really like the sound of the instruments, and the change of time signatures – you’ve managed the changes to sound natural. Have you used a different microphone this month? - the vocal could be almost too deep in the mix, but it is not due to the clarity in the production. Massive pat on back!
Night Train- Patrick Duffin
Haunting, to me it evokes up so many powerful images immediately. I can only doff my cap to you in admiration of this song. Brilliant. The ‘strained’ voice at end is spot on.
I Broke a Promise (But I Kept a Vow) - Mike Gosling
Tremendous vocal performance, perfect guitar work throughout – quite restrained but all the more powerful for that. Very moving! I really like the string sound- how did you get it so sounding so beautiful? In a very odd way the guitar and string combination reminds me of one or two tracks by Sigur Ros – although your great vocal is a million miles away from Jonsi’s style!
Watch the Colours Fade - Tim & Glynn
Like Patrick I’m transported into a David Lynch movie... with some awful happenings going on. The vocal is spot on: there’s a sense of heightened tension in the delivery and the lyrics. This is powerful stuff, and the sparse accompaniment is completely haunting. I’m captivated.
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Post by colinallcars on Nov 9, 2014 11:24:38 GMT
Hi guys, just wanted to say I'm so glad I joined the SWC. It's great to get such lovely feedback on my song and fascinating to see others' opinions about all the songs. It certainly adds an edge when you are writing for an audience of songwriters.... Thanks to Eddie Custard for the invitation.
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tandg
Junior Member
Posts: 67
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Post by tandg on Nov 9, 2014 20:34:53 GMT
Colin Parish – We used to be Punks
Unexpected instrumentation – the mix of instruments creates an atmosphere that works well with the Radio 4 inspired lyrics. Nicely delivered – good clear vocals and (like Mike) I liked the Englishness of it all. I like the cello and bass but the real surprise arrives in the instrumental break – not sure how or what the sitar is but I really liked it. A great start and welcome addition to the collective.
Stephen Clarke – Deep Down
Wonderful! Heartbreaking “you can’t write or telephone” lyrics, catchy chorus but so much more than that. Great balance to the sounds, everything seems to fit in place. I love the chorus being more downbeat that the lines before it. I want to hear it again and again.
Eddie Custard – Where is Mr Barker?
What can I say? As always, you seem to find catchy but unpredictable vocal lines and key changes. Anyone whose been to school knows exactly the situation for Mr Barker – “the kids all snigger when he starts to sweat” is such a chilling line; we’ve all been there. What a fantastically high standard you maintain, I think yours is the one I look forward to most each month and this is right up there with your best.
Tim & Julie – Rat Pack
Love the bass, the offbeat rhythm. It has wonderfully relaxed vibe and yet this might be your tightest song. Voice again is nicely up front and gets better and better. The half-spoken element to the voice is great and the subject again is handled so inventively. Glyn’s absolute favourite this month. Who needs a concept album when there’s a concept in each song? Looking forward to the nativity from the manger’s point of view! Congratulations about the web-site – that’s just brilliant.
Patrick Duffin – Night Train
Those harmonies…..they are sooo good – the oooohs fit with the theme of the train and demand attention throughout the song. As always with Patrick, they are so well mixed and positioned compared to the lead vocal. The singing in the last chorus is spectacularly good – your voice sounds wonderful and there is a tension to the song and the performance that is just great.
Phil Sanderson – Silence is the Residue of Fear
This is quite a challenge to listen to in the beginning but as the song develops it sort of sinks in what you are doing. I loved the addition of (what I presume to be) distorted guitar sounds to the 12 string guitar – its hugely atmospheric and the playing is really good throughout the song. It would make a brilliant soundtrack – it felt like unsettling visual images would really complement the feel of the song.
Mike Gosling – I Broke a Promise
For me, the best moment in all of this month’s songs is the introduction of the strings towards the end of the first minute of the song. It’s absolutely delicious. I was glad that you kept the acoustic guitar part as I think the strings benefited from it as a counterpart. I can hear Tom Waits doing this one – and in my book that’s high praise indeed.
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Post by timwarner on Nov 16, 2014 16:45:29 GMT
It's very pleasing to win. Thanks to everyone that took part, listened, voted, reviewed. If I was Mike, I'd demand a recount.
I re recorded the first line for Bruce Alexander and I had this email back.
Hi Tim,
I am totally delighted with the song! Thanks for doing it, and so fast.
I will not be quite so fast in getting it up on the website, but it won't be too long either. I have don't understand the technology of hiding the email address, but I am sure my wordly-wise (yet enlightened) web-guy, John Robinson, will know what to do to follow your instructions. I will let you know when it is up. I could just send a copy of this string of commumications to John, but I fear that might make your address bot-accessible in a way you do not want, so I will wait until I get home to Vancouver and give it to him on paper.
This is my busy season and, as it happens, I am in London this morning, on my way to Glasgow tomorrow to give a speech. So I won't be home for a few days.
Congratulations on your music, and please let me know when you and your band have an album that I can plug on my website.
Bruce
I get the impression he doesn't understand what a small-fry I am. I should possibly get him to do some reading on cognitive dissonance.
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tandg
Junior Member
Posts: 67
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Post by tandg on Nov 16, 2014 17:31:41 GMT
Well done Tim - definitely deserved for a truly original piece of work and a worthy close second for Mike.
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Post by mikegosling on Nov 17, 2014 12:34:05 GMT
Congratulations Tim and Julie - and exciting news that your song will have a life outside the Songwriters Collective.
Just got my access back to the forum - for some reason BT blocked my access to it (do they have some sort of taste-monitoring software that blocks access to dodgy material?). Hope you're all working hard on your Christmas song(s)!
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Karl
Junior Member
Posts: 72
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Post by Karl on Nov 17, 2014 15:28:19 GMT
Well done Tim & Julie. Are you all dusting off your sleigh bells?
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Post by eddiecustard on Nov 18, 2014 1:22:37 GMT
Good stuff, Tim and Julie - a worthy winner.
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Post by colinallcars on Nov 18, 2014 15:31:40 GMT
Excellent winner. I'm looking forward to the odd sympathy vote next month....
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Post by Colin Steward on Nov 19, 2014 10:13:54 GMT
Well done indeed, Tim.
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Post by stephen on Nov 21, 2014 10:02:15 GMT
Well done, Tim, and congrats on getting some extra publicity.
In case your new researcher friend is interested, my Christmas song is going to be called "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Rat".
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Post by timwarner on Nov 21, 2014 14:58:56 GMT
Thanks Stephen. I mentioned your Christmas song to Bruce (obviously, we're on first name terms now) and he said the song would have to be called 'Rudolph the red-nosed rat with dependency issues' for it to get onto his site.
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Post by stephen on Nov 21, 2014 20:41:21 GMT
How did he guess - that's the chorus
Rudolph's red nose comes from dependency issues
He sniffs up drugs then sneezes into tissues
(Backing vocals: Squeak squeak, sniff sniff
Santa, gimme a spliff)
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Post by colinallcars on Nov 28, 2014 18:24:27 GMT
A number of people asked about the sitar in We Used to be Punks. It's actually just the GarageBand acoustic guitar played by bending the'strings' and me not really knowing what I'm doing. Can't wait to hear all the Christmas Number Ones.... Not long now...
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